


Don't Toy with Me

by johnnysmitten



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bard is kind of desperate, Bard thinks Thranduil is perfect, Cock Worship, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Teasing, They'll have sex in the second part, Thranduil plays hard to get, sassy thranduil
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2015-12-30
Packaged: 2018-05-10 08:54:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5579254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johnnysmitten/pseuds/johnnysmitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bard is obsessed with a certain part of Thranduil's body<br/>Thranduil is too snarky for his own good<br/>Eventually Thran will give in to Bard's wishes</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Toy with Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hahaha. This has no plot. I wrote it so long ago but I'm bored and I really want to get back into writing smut, so I feel like if I post this then i'll have to continue writing the second part. I would never want to leave anything unfinished.

“Thran!” Bard called out as he opened the front door and stepped into their small starter home.

After being together for over 3 years, Bard and Thranduil finally saved up enough money to move into their first house together.

Bard had been working overtime at the garage lately, desperately trying to bring home extra funds so that Thranduil could get that king-sized bed he had been eyeing for months. The blonde had a tendency to sprawl out and sleep like a starfish, which didn’t really bother Bard all that much (he liked the contact), but it would be nice to have a bigger, more comfortable bed, for sleeping and…other activities.

So Bard worked the extra hours without too much complaint. But every now and then he would have a bad day and just needed to get home so he could unwind and be with his boyfriend. He didn’t care what they did together, he just wanted to be close to him, to finally be able to fully relax and be himself.

Bard kicked off his steel-toe boots hurriedly, shoving them aside as he made his way up the stairs, wondering why Thranduil wasn’t answering him. Normally by this time in the evening, the blonde would be curled up on the couch with a cup of green tea, watching some reality show that Bard had no interest in.

“Babe?” Bard called again as he opened their bedroom door slowly. He still didn’t get an answer.

The brunette swiftly removed his pants and shirt, throwing them into the corner of the room. He badly needed a shower. He also badly needed his boyfriend. And he was a bit annoyed that Thranduil was not available to him as soon as he got in the house.

Bard had a sort of…obsession, his own strange kink that he loved to indulge in. He loved to play with his boyfriend’s cock. He could never help himself. The first time he saw Thranduil naked he just wanted to worship his pretty cock for hours. Thranduil had thought it was a bit odd at first, the blonde didn’t think he was anything special, but to Bard, he was perfection. Eventually, Thranduil got used to this treatment until he didn’t think anything of it when Bard would slide his hand into the blonde’s pants and just toy with his cock for as long as he wanted.

Bard never grew tired of teasing Thranduil, and sometimes at work he would even get so caught up thinking about his boyfriend’s pretty cock that he would inevitably end up with quite the embarrassing bulge in his pants. The brunette could not wait to have the day off tomorrow so he could spend all his time teasing and toying with Thranduil’s beautiful cock. It really wasn’t Bard’s fault – it was a very attractive dick and Bard only wanted to let his boyfriend know just how perfect it really was, and this always made the blonde blush furiously.

“Baby!” Bard heard Thranduil call out from their bathroom, his voice muffled by the closed door. Bard, wearing nothing but his underwear, opened the bathroom door, only to be overwhelmed by the scent of vanilla.

Thranduil had three large candles burning, the only source of light in the tiny room. The blonde was lying back in the bathtub with his eyes closed; his hair was up in a loose messy bun atop his head, with one long leg raised up out of the water, resting on the edge of the tub.

“Hey love.” Bard said, causing the blonde’s eyes to flutter open, gasping in a breath of air lightly, as he took in the sight of Bard wearing practically nothing.

“Mmm, my big strong man has finally returned to me.” Thranduil cooed softly, closing his eyes again and sinking deeper into the tub, the water coming up to his chin as he let his leg fall gently into the bubbly water.

“Yes, baby. I’ve come back to you. And now I need a shower, but I see princess here is occupying the tub.” Bard grinned cheekily, coming to crouch down next to the side of the bathtub, playfully ruffling Thranduil’s hair, the bun becoming even messier.

“Hey! I’m entitled to a day of relaxation.” Thranduil grumbled jokingly, swatting his boyfriend’s hand away from his hair.

“Of course you are, baby.” Bard said, leaning over the edge of the tub and pressing a kiss to Thranduil’s mussed hair. “You look like one of Botticelli’s angels.”

“Oh, stop. Always flattering me.” Thranduil said, looking down at the bubbles, a smile playing on his lips, blush creeping onto his snowy cheeks.

“I’d like to flatter you even more…in other ways. Once you’re done your bath, of course.” Bard said, running his fingertips along Thranduil’s cheekbone before he cupped his cheek and pulled his face over, pressing his lips gently onto the blonde’s. Thranduil chuckled lightly as Bard grazed his fingers down his boyfriend’s chest and into the warm water.

“Bard.” Thranduil warned, biting onto Bard’s bottom lip aggressively, as the brunette sunk his hand lower, his fingertips ghosting over Thranduil’s inner thigh. “Hey!”

“What?” Bard asked with mock innocence, a sheepish smile forming on his lips as he broke contact with the blonde’s pink lips.

“Do not tease.” Thranduil scolded, batting at Bard’s bicep.

“And why not?”

“Because for once I want to be able to relax without you fucking with me.”

“Oh, lies. You love when I tease you.”

“Later.” Thranduil huffed, pushing Bard away, the brunette pouting at the rude gesture.

“Babe, c’mon. I’ve been without you all day.” Bard grumbled, grabbing onto Thranduil’s hair and pulling it out of the elastic, the long blonde tresses falling around his face and into the water.

“No!” Thranduil yelped, quickly gathering his hair in his hands, “I didn’t want to get my hair wet, you ass!”

“Thran! Stop being difficult!” Bard groaned as his boyfriend splashed water in his face.

“Then fuck off.” Thranduil said harshly, closing his eyes again, lying back as he attempted to get comfortable once more. Bard chuckled at him, slinking his hand down into the water as he cupped his hand onto Thranduil’s cock.

“Bard!” Thranduil gasped, shifting around in the water, causing a mini tidal wave.

“Just lay back, baby. I only want to touch you.” Bard said soothingly, one hand pushing against his boyfriend’s chest trying to get him to relax.

“Fine.” Thranduil sighed, sinking back into the water, sighing as Bard grasped his hand around the blonde’s cock, not stroking, just holding it with a loose fist.

“Such a perfect cock, baby. Fuck, I love it.” Bard growled, as the blonde waved off his comment flippantly.

“Don’t come in your pants, babe.” Thranduil said, a small laugh escaping his lips.

“You’re so mean to me.” Bard sighed, grasping his boyfriend’s dick tighter in his hand, loving the way he could feel it growing harder by the second.

“Am not. You’re just annoying me.” Thranduil groaned, making to grab Bard’s wrist and push him away.

“You can pretend all you want that you don’t like it, but I can feel that you do.” Bard smirked, thumbing over the head of Thranduil’s length, playing dirty, teasing him as the blonde tried to put on a straight face.

“The mind and the body want different things, I guess.” Thranduil mused, flashing a devilish grin at his boyfriend, who now began rubbing his cock slowly.

“Rude. You want me, Thran. You just get off being a sassy brat.”

“Maybe. But then again, you are up in my space, when all I wanted was to have a nice relaxing bath.” Thranduil sighed, getting slightly annoyed by Bard’s unnecessary touches.

“Okay, baby. Take your fucking bath then.” Bard griped, giving a final squeeze to Thranduil’s semi-hard cock before pulling his hand out of the water and flicking the droplets onto his boyfriend’s face. “I’ll just have to go shower in the other bathroom then.”

“Good, go.” Thranduil said nonchalantly as he fixed his hair, securing it higher on his head and away from the water.

Bard waved off Thranduil’s comment, rolling his eyes as he walked away. He made his way out of the room, leaving Thranduil to his sour mood. As much as Bard loved messing with his boyfriend when he was annoyed, he knew when to back off as well. The blonde may not look like he could fight, but Bard knew from experience that he could throw a pretty mean punch.

Bard took a long, satisfying shower. He lingered under the stream of hot water for much longer than he usually would, taking his time scrubbing the grease from his hair and under his fingernails. Thranduil hated when he smelled like work.

The brunette got out of the shower, drying himself off before walking back to their bedroom completely naked, hoping, of course, that Thranduil would still be in the bath – which he, unfortunately, was not.

As Bard dressed himself he could hear his boyfriend rustling around downstairs, most likely setting up his easel so he could get some painting done. Bard figured the only reason Thranduil would be working on a painting so late in the evening was so that he could claim he was ‘busy’ and not give in to Bard’s wishes.

Thranduil did in fact have the easel set up when Bard made his way down stairs into the lounge. He was squeezing out different colours of paint onto a palette and mixing the colours together. Bard approached him silently, wanting to sneak up on him. Bard always liked to scare Thranduil; he liked when his boyfriend got all flustered and bitchy.

“Baby,” Bard said, clearing his throat, as came to stand right behind Thranduil. “Whatcha doing?”

“Oh my god, Bard!” Thranduil whined, dropping a paint brush as he spun around quickly. “Don’t sneak up on me.”

“Did you have a good bath?” Bard asked as Thranduil turned back around and continued mixing his paints.

“Yeah, after you left me alone.” Thranduil snapped cheekily as Bard’s chest came flush with the blonde’s back, wrapping his arms around Thranduil’s waist as he slid his hands down to the waistband of his sweatpants.

“Why are you wearing these?” Bard groaned, attempting to slide his hand in Thranduil’s pants before the blonde slapped his hand away.

“Because that’s what people do, babe, they wear pants.” Thranduil scoffed, smirking to himself as he began to add paint to his canvas.

“You should be exempt from that rule. You should never have to wear pants.” Bard said, ignoring the fact that Thranduil had slapped him away and went to slide his hand into Thranduil’s pants once more. Fortunately for Bard, this time the blonde didn’t smack him away. Thranduil must have given up trying to keep Bard’s hands at bay; this time he just let the brunette do what he pleased.

Bard ran his hand over the thin material of Thranduil’s underwear, palming at his cock slowly before he slipped his hand past the obstructing clothing, finally cupping his boyfriend’s dick lightly in his fist.

Thranduil continued painting, brush stroking over and over on the canvas as Bard persisted his ministrations, running his fingertips along Thranduil’s length enticingly before cupping that pretty cock and gently tugging at it.

The feeling of Thranduil’s cock in his hand caused Bard’s own length to grow harder and harder as he eventually made his way between Thranduil and the easel, kneeling down in front of the blonde.

“Baby, I’m gonna get paint on you.” Thranduil warned as he swirled his brush around on the palette into another colour of paint.

“I don’t care.” Bard said absently, focusing all his attention on his boyfriend’s beautiful dick. He didn’t even want to get Thranduil hard, he just wanted to touch that perfection, hold it in his hand and know that it was his, and only his. He pressed soft kisses around the base of Thranduil’s cock, slowly trailing his kisses down his length before licking the tip sensually.

“Bard. I’m trying to work here.” Thranduil said, trying his best to ignore Bard’s touches and kisses.

“I know. I just want to play with you.” Bard cooed, now firmly holding Thranduil’s cock in his hand as if he were examining it closely.

Thranduil sighed, setting his paintbrush down on the ledge of the easel, bringing his hands to Bard’s hair, twisting his fingers into the messy damp strands as he pushed Bard’s head back so he could look down into his eyes.

“I’m not going to let you fuck me tonight, you know that right?” Thranduil said, grinning at Bard as if he had all the power and Bard had none.

“That’s fine. I just want to toy with this pretty cock, that’s all.” Bard replied, pulling free from Thranduil’s grip before planting another wet kiss to the head of his dick.

“You’re so annoying.” Thranduil grumbled under his breath as he began painting again, huffing every now and then when Bard’s touches became particularly rough.

“Mmm, so smooth and hairless.” Bard purred, pumping Thranduil’s cock a few times before sliding his hand down, cupping his balls before letting his fingers trail over the sensitive skin near his puckered entrance.

“It’s called shaving, you should try it.” Thranduil said, jumping a little at the unexpected contact.

“Just so perfect, fuck.” Bard moaned, grazing his fingertips gently over the blonde’s hole, feeling his muscles contract at the touch.

“Hey!” Thranduil yelped as Bard’s fingers played with his entrance, rubbing little circles as he dragged his lips along his boyfriend’s dick, eventually encircling his mouth around the pretty pink tip and gently sucking.

“Oops.” Bard chuckled as he pulled his lips off of Thranduil’s cock, enjoying his boyfriend’s response far too much. The brunette was painfully hard now, but he didn’t focus on himself. He preferred to lavish Thranduil in affection rather than relieve himself.

“Bard, you do realize I’m trying to do something here, right?” The blonde grumbled, trying his best to distract himself from Bard’s ministrations as he dipped his brush back into the paint.

“I know. Just pretend I’m not here.” Bard said softly, kneading and rubbing his fingers up and down Thranduil’s cock, pulling his face back so he could relish in the sight of it.

“That’s not exactly the easiest thing to do.” Thranduil said, looking down at where Bard’s hand was gripped firmly around his dick. Bard stilled the movement of his hand, eyes trailing upward as his gaze locked with Thranduil’s.

“Sorry baby, you should just paint tomorrow.” Bard pleaded, his lips coming together in a hard line as he began to pout and bat his lashes. He knew Thranduil couldn’t resist his puppy eyes.

Thranduil broke eye contact with Bard, staring absently at the canvas in front of him. “This commission isn’t going to finish itself.” He mused, letting out a heavy sigh before brushing a hand through Bard’s hair.

“But you never work on things this late.” The brunette moaned, annoyed that he couldn’t seem to get Thranduil to just _relax_.

“Don’t sulk, Bard.”

“I’m not.”

“You look like a desperate slut on your knees.” Thranduil said, a smirk playing on his lips as he looked at Bard and shook his head lightly.

“Yeah, all because of you.” Bard teased, his hand still wrapped loosely around Thranduil’s cock as he began to rub circles onto the underside of his boyfriend’s length with his thumb.

“Oh, so it’s my fault that you’ve become a slut?” Thranduil scoffed, a small giggle escaping his lips as he tried to back up so Bard would release him. Of course Bard did no such thing. He wasn’t going to stop now.

“Yup, you’re just too perfect. And I’m only a slut for you.” Bard cooed, pressing feather-light kisses all over Thranduil’s cock as he rubbed it languidly in his hand.

“Oh, I’m flattered. But I think you just lack self control.” Thranduil grinned, rolling his eyes, his hands coming to rest on his hips. Bard could tell he was annoyed.

“Maybe.” Bard hummed, continuing to worship Thranduil’s semi-hard cock with little kisses and licks.

“Bard, please.” Thranduil sighed, attempting to push Bard’s head away.

“You like it baby, stop denying it.” Bard smirked, nipping at Thranduil’s cock with his fang-like teeth.

“God, you’re such an ass.”

“Why don’t you go sit on the couch and watch tv? I’m sure one of those shit shows you like is on.”

“My shows are not shit!” Thranduil gasped in mock-horror.

“Thran, please.”

“Begging isn’t going to get you anywhere, baby.”

“That’s not true.” Bard retorted, as his fingers danced along the underside of Thranduil’s cock, tracing light patterns that caused the blonde to let out a small muffled sigh.

“Not tonight at least.” Thranduil groaned, dipping his brush into more paint.

Bard got up off his knees to stand in front of Thranduil, blocking his view of his painting, still grasping the blonde’s cock in his hand, gently squeezing at it as he attempted to kiss his boyfriend.

“Such a pest.”

Bard waved off Thranduil’s comment. “Let’s watch the Kardashian’s.” He suggested instead.

“Oh my god! You really are desperate.” Thranduil laughed, finally pressing his lips to Bard’s for a soft kiss.

“For you, I’m always desperate.”

“I know.” Thranduil rolled his eyes before looking down to where Bard’s big hand was teasing the head of his cock.

“Please?” Bard whined, pouting and batting his lashes.

“Fine, let’s watch the fucking Kardashian’s then!” Thranduil said, tossing his paint brush down into the paint and letting out an annoyed sigh.

Bard knew Thranduil liked to play hard to get. He never gave in easy, but Bard didn’t mind, it made the challenge more exciting and the reward all the sweeter.

Thranduil threw himself down onto the couch in a dramatic fashion, Bard’s hand not letting go of his cock in the process. Bard tucked his legs underneath himself as he cozied up beside the blonde.

Bard was going to have fun teasing Thranduil until he finally gave in.

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me what you want them to do. How should they do it? Who tops, who bottoms? This could go any way at all.  
> I'm up for suggestions!


End file.
